Why Is He So Bitter?
by ThisPerson1
Summary: Why is Murdoc always in a sour mood and why does he always pound 2D? This is why. Will probably be a series based on his reasons for doing so, most of which being things that happened during his childhood. Rated T for violence.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't own Gorillaz, Damon and Jamie do. The reason I think is why Murdoc beats the crap outta 2D.**

* * *

"Murdoc, stop!"

"Shut it, twerp!" **PUNCH** "Take it like a man!" Murdoc was currently straddling 2D, repeatedly punching him in the face. The singer already had a bloody nose, bruises, and a black eye, but that clearly wasn't good enough for him. He punched him again, this time making 2D's head hit the ground hard. He screamed in pain, but Murdoc only laughed. "Scream all you want, faceache. No one's here to help you. In case you've forgotten, which you probably have, Noodle and Russ are out shopping. They won't be back any time soon either." It was true, the duo went out to go buy some more groceries, and since it had only been ten minutes after they left, 2D would have to hope the bassist would get tired of pounding him.

"Please Murdoc. I'm sorry for whatever I did." Murdoc stared at the hopeless look 2D gave him, and for a moment he got lost in his thoughts.

* * *

_Flashback_

_"Dad, please..." A young boy with pure black hair was lying on the ground in obvious pain. A tall shadow loomed over him, the owner of which was his father. "I... I'm sorry."_

_"You are sorry." A boot suddenly collided with his face._

_End flashback_

* * *

"You are sorry!" Murdoc kicked 2D sharply in the stomach and he rolled over in pain. He coughed up a little blood, but Murdoc didn't care.

"Why are you... so mad?" 2D braced himself for another hit, but it never came. He looked to see the bassist walk by him with a can of beer in his hand. He thought he heard him mutter 'Why am I so mad?' but was in too much pain to think about it. And he wasn't stupid enough to ask him to repeat it; he'd probably attack him again. Sighing, Stu dragged himself into the kitchen since he was nearest to it. He managed to wet a towel and slap it on his face before taking a seat in a chair and resting his head on the table.

Murdoc had retreated to his Winniebago to calm down a little. He honestly wasn't sure why he was so angry at 2D. He hadn't done anything to provoke him, and yet just five minutes ago he had him pinned down and bleeding. The only thing that got him to stop was that memory. He remembered one of the times his dad decided to practically beat the life out of him for not earning him enough money in a contest. "I'm too much like you, dad." The word felt foreign to him, since he hadn't even seen his father in years. He sighed and picked up his bass. Playing might help get his mind off things for awhile.

2D had been in the kitchen with his face plastered to the table for nearly an hour. Noodle and Russel finally walked in and noticed his state. "2D-san, what is- *gasp!* What happened?!" 2D had lifted his head as soon as Noodle spoke and the sight was not pretty. His left eye was swollen and purple, his nose had dry blood coming from it, and on top of that he just looked terrible.

"What happened, man? Murdoc did this didn't he?" Russel cracked his knuckles. "I swear he's really gonna get it this time." He quickly put away the groceries before heading down to Murdoc's lair.

"Stu, are you okay? Let me help." He knew she was very concerned but he didn't want any help. He wanted to prove that he could be strong.

"It's alright, Noods. I'm fine. Really." He tried giving one of signature grins, but it was obviously forced.

"Come with me. I will get you cleaned up. And then I will go speak to Murdoc-san if he is still alive." She took his hand and led him to her room where she motioned for him to sit on her bed. She disappeared and came back with a wet cloth, a towel, bandages, and some ice. She gently wiped away the blood before covering the cuts with bandages. After she was done with that she wrapped the ice pack in the towel and gave it to him. "Put this on your eye."

"Thanks, Noodle." He smiled brightly and she smiled back.

"Stay here. I will be back."

"Where are you going?"

"To join Russel in his 'chat' with Murdoc." She left and 2D lied back on the bed.

"Man, what is your problem?! We leave to pick up some grub and you nearly kill D?!"

"Oi! I didn't almost kill him! He was still breathing wasn't he?" Murdoc struggled against Russel's iron grip. He was single-handedly holding him up by his collar.

"Then explain why he was a freaking mess when we walked in."

"He's a faceache! Can't we just blame it on the painkillers and move on already?"

"No! What the heck is wrong with you?"

"Lots of things, Russ." Murdoc chuckled darkly. Russel pinched the bridge of his nose before setting the bassist down.

"Look man, you can't be doin' this every time we leave you two alone. What if you go too far one day?"

"I wouldn't do that. Unless I had to. Heh."

"Murdoc-san. Why did you try to kill Stu?"

"Oh, here we go again."

"Do not groan about it Murdoc. He was very upset."

"It's okay. I forgive him." Everyone turned to look at 2D, who had walked up behind them. He still had the ice pack on his eye. "I know you don't always mean to be such a... y'know." He didn't want to say what was really on his mind for fear that he would come in his room during the night and actually kill him. Murdoc just stood there utterly confused.

_"How can the dullard forgive me? After everything I've done?"_

* * *

_Flashback_

_"Dad?" Little Murdoc cautiously stepped into the living room with his eyes cast down and his hands behind his back._

_"What do you want?!" Came the vicious reply._

_"Um... I just wanted to say that even though you're always really mean to me I still love you." His father didn't reply at first. "Dad?"_

_"Get out of here!"_

_"But-"_

_"Now, you little brat!" He threw a bottle at him and he scampered off to his room._

_"What's the matter,_ bro?_ Did you realize how worthless you are?"_

_"Shut up, Hannibal." Murdoc then slammed the door in his brother's face._

_End flashback_

* * *

"Get out of my Winnebago. Now." Murdoc pushed Russel and Noodle out before shutting the door on them.

"What's his problem?"

"Come on Russel-san. Let's just leave him be." All three of them walked away from the 'bago while Murdoc watched them from the window. Lighting up a cigarette, he sighed.

"What's wrong with me? This is all your fault, dad."

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**A/N: Let me know what you think and if you like it I will continue.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well I'm glad someone liked the idea so here's another chapter. Most of them may not be very long.**

* * *

_Flashback_

_"Hannibal give it back! It's mine!" Murdoc's brother stole the twenty dollars he had found on the way home from school. Due to the major height difference, Murdoc wasn't able to reach it while Hannibal held it above his head. "I found it!"_

_"Well I'm keepin' it." Hannibal shoved Murdoc aside and walked down the hall and to his room. But the younger Niccals wasn't going to let his brother push him around without putting up a fight. Without warning, Murdoc tackled Hannibal just before he reached his door and the two of them ended up in a struggle. Eventually their father, who was passed out on the living room couch, heard the fight through his hangover and got up. He stumbled through the small house until reached his sons._

_"Just what do you two think you're doin'?" He slurred. Hannibal pushed Murdoc off him and stood up._

_"Nothin' pops. Muds and I were just playin'. Isn't that right, Murdoc?" He elbowed his brother sharply before doing his best to look innocent._

_"Uh... yeah." Their father looked at them oddly through his drunken haze before noticing the twenty poorly hidden behind Hannibal's back._

_"And what do we have here? How thoughtful of you to get me some drinking money." Before they could say anything he snatched the money and stumbled back the way he came. As soon as he was gone, Murdoc looked at his brother with an anger someone his age shouldn't have._

_"I. FREAKING. HATE. YOU." He then stomped off to his room while Hannibal just laughed._

_"Yeah, whatever."_

* * *

"Ow!" Somehow Murdoc managed to fall asleep holding his cigarette and some of the ashes fell on his leg. He just wiped them off and continued to stare at the wall. 2D's statement was still ringing through his mind. "How can he just forgive me? I've beaten him countless times and he seems perfectly okay with it. Maybe he really is braindead." He chuckled a little. "Of course, that's probably my fault." He remembered the car accidents and the fact that he used to beat up 2D while he was in a coma. Then he thought about Noodle and Russel and how upset they were. Well Noodle anyway, Russel was more angry than upset. Although he wouldn't admit this to anyone, he did care about what Noodle thought. And right now she probably thought he was a monster. It _was_ a pretty good way to describe him. "Maybe I should apologize. That's what Noodle always says I should do. Something about it being 'right'. Ha. Like that'll happen. What do you think, Cortez?"

"CAW!"

"That's what I thought." Murdoc sat back and finished off the remainder of his cigarette, which wasn't much, before getting up and grabbing another beer.

Russel, Noodle, and 2D were in the living room watching Dawn of the Dead. 2D's eyes were focused only on the screen, Noodle's were watching but not as much as D's, and Russel was sitting there with a bored expression. "You'd think that with all the zombies here you wouldn't be so interested in this crap." Russel said while eating a sandwich.

"What are you talking about? This is great! Right, Noods?"

"While I myself do enjoy zombie movies, I can't tell you how many times I have seen this one. I've honestly forgotten."

"But this is the best part."

"Why don't y'all find somethin' else to do? I'm gonna make us some dinner." With that, Russel stood up and headed into the kitchen.

"Come on, Toochi. Do you want to play a game instead?" Noodle gave him a pleading look, and 2D had to comply. He couldn't say no to that face and he did owe her for helping him earlier.

"Oh, alright. I guess shooting up zombies is more fun than watching them eat people." As they were heading to 2D's room they ran into Murdoc. 2D hid behind Noodle in case Murdoc lashed out and attacked him again. Noodle decided to try and solve the problem.

"Murdoc-san. Don't you have something you'd like to say to 2D?"

"Huh? Yeah, move outta the way."

"That is _not_ what I meant." Despite her bangs Murdoc could still tell that she was glaring at him.

"Well what do you want me to say?" He hoped that if he played dumb then she'd give up and leave him alone.

"APOLOGIZE. Now."

"Fine. I'm so..." She looked at him, waiting. 2D had moved from behind her but still kept his eyes on him. "Sorry." He said through clenched teeth. As soon as the word left his mouth he felt like he was going to throw up. Noodle suddenly smiled.

"That wasn't so bad, right? Thank you, Murdoc-san." Murdoc just rolled his eyes in response. Then he noticed 2D still staring at him.

"I don't suppose you want me to mess up your face even more?" He cracked his knuckles and 2D gulped.

"N-no! Please!" He went back to hiding behind Noodle.

"Then quit staring at me! Or I'll give you another black eye to match that one!"

"I'm sorry!" Sorry. Why did he have to say sorry? Murdoc stood there for a moment before shaking his head.

"Whatever." Then he pushed past them and left.

"What was that about?"

"I am not sure. Maybe he feels remorse." 2D snorted at this.

"Ha. Like that'll happen. You have to have a heart for that." The two continued to 2D's room not knowing that Murdoc had heard.

Murdoc found Russel in the kitchen frying some chicken. "Hey Russ. Am I heartless?" He stopped for a moment before turning to face the bassist.

"Uh... why do you wanna know, Muds? Since when do you even care?" If it wasn't for his greenish hue his face would've been red.

"Um... just wondering."

"But why?"

"Because I just am! Can't a guy ask a simple question?"

"A guy, yes. You, no."

"Y'know what, lardo? Just forget it. Your chicken smells a little overcooked too." He left, and Russel went to save the chicken.

"It's not burned or anything." He shrugged and continued to cook.

Noodle and 2D were busy playing Resident Evil. "So why do you think Muds flipped like that?" He asked without taking his eyes off the screen.

"Not sure. Did you say something to him earlier?" Noodle was just as focused as he was.

"Hmm..." He paused the game. "He did stare at me for a minute before he stopped pounding me. It was like... I don't know, like he was remembering something or something."

"Really? I wonder what it was."

"It's not like he's gonna tell us."

"Perhaps we can get him to." Noodle suddenly got a devious look on her face.

"What're you thinkin', Noods?"

"I think I may have an idea."

* * *

**A/N: Well, tell me what you think. BTW, 20 dollars is apparently 12.20 British pounds. I'm not certain though, I looked it up really quick.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: And another chapter. Let me know if I've made any stupid errors in grammar or spelling or anything cuz I'm typing on my kindle.**

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As it turns out, Noodle's idea was to get the entire band to have a 'family night' and talk together. The only problem was that there were four of them total and only three were in the living room. "Since Muds ain't here does that mean we can leave?"

"No, Russel-san. Wait here while I go get our bassist." Noodle left and Russel sighed.

"I get that we probably should be spendin' more time together so we ain't so violent towards each other, but a family night? How's this gonna fix anything? Murdoc is still gonna be his usual weird, smelly, arrogant, and sometimes disturbing self. You're still gonna be an airhead, I'm still gonna love food, and Noodle is still gonna be Noodle."

"Well yeah, I guess. But maybe she can get Murdoc to at least take a shower. And-HEY!" Russel snorted at how long it took Stu to get what he just said. Suddenly they heard arguing from none other than the bassist himself.

"I don't see why I have to be part of this stupid thing. Does it look like I'm 'family oriented'? Does it look like I even care?"

"No, but I care. You're doing this whether you want to or not." Noodle dragged the annoyed Murdoc over to the others and made him sit. "Now that we're all here, who would like to go first?" The three men all gave each other 'You do it' looks. "Well?"

"What're we doin' anyway Noods?" 2D scratched his head, unsure if this was a good idea.

"I thought it would be good if we got to know each other better."

"We're a flippin' band, for cryin' out loud! How much better could we know each other?!"

"Well then, Murdoc-san. Tell me something I used to love when I was little." He sat there looking thoughtful while scratching the stubble on his chin.

"Easy. Unicorns."

"Um... I've never had an interest in those."

"Wha? But don't all girls love those stupid horned donkeys?"

"No." Noodle wasn't the only one giving him a strange look. Russel and 2D were both staring at him with indescribable faces. "This is exactly why I said we should spend more time together. The exercise I had in mind was-"

"Hold up, baby girl. There's no way you're gettin' me to do some sit-ups or something."

"Not that kind of exercise, Russel-san. I meant a bonding exercise. I thought it would be a good idea to talk about some memories we have. So who wants to share first?" 2D's hand shot up like a second grader's.

"Oh! Oh! Pick me!" Noodle smiled.

"Alright D-san. Go ahead."

"Well, when I was little I really wanted a dog for my birthday..."

"Oh jeez! Can I _please _leave? I even said please."

"Muds you better shut your mouth or else I will. Let him finish. We're gonna have to listen to you eventually." Russel held up a large fist and Murdoc shut it. "Keep goin', D."

"Thanks Russ. So anyway, I really wanted a puppy. I begged my parents constantly for one. Then my birthday came but all I got was a stuffed dog. They said I was too young for that responsibility."

"Are you sure it wasn't cuz you're an idiot?" Everyone looked sharply at Murdoc, except for 2D who looked more hurt than anything else. The bassist just grunted.

"You can finish your story."

"Oh I'm done. That's it. But thanks anyway, Noodle."

"I guess I'll go next."

"Thanks for volunteering, Russel-san."

"Welcome. So this was a long time ago.

"You mean before you took up more space than a blimp?"

"I swear man, you're getting pretty darn close to me breaking your nose a second time. Shut up, or it'll be on your forehead. So like I was sayin', this was a long time ago. Back before that shooting. Me, Del, and some other friends were gonna hang out one evening. At first, none of us could agree on where to go, so we settled on heading to a Subway." Murdoc snorted. "Muds, don't say one word. So we went to a Subway. We ended up being cheap and bought some sorry excuses for subs. And that's when Rodney, one of the guys I knew, sees this girl workin' there. So he gets all flustered, cuz it turns out that she was the same girl he had a crush on in fourth grade. He never had the guts to talk to her then. So as we're leavin' he keeps lookin' back at her until Del asked what his problem was. He was all nervous and goes 'That's the girl I liked back in fourth grade.' I asked if he was sure and he said yeah. Then he said he never did talk to her, and that's when Del goes 'You ain't bein' a boy forever. Now man up and go ask her out.' We all started encouraging him and he eventually turned around and went back inside. He waited till she was done with a customer, then went up to her. We were at a table in the corner to back him up in case things, y'know, went badly. He actually looked like he was going to faint. She recognized him and asked him if he was that guy from fourth grade that used to dump glue on people." That earned a chuckle from Noodle and 2D. "And I swear, I'll never forget what he said after that." Russel started laughing a little and D and Noodle perked up.

"Tell us Russel-san."

"Yeah. Don't leave us hanging."

"S-so he goes, 'Yeah, that's me. So you uh, wanna go to Subway?'" All three of them started laughing. "And she's like, 'Well, I'm already working here so I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?' We were laughing back then but luckily for him, she asked him out. He almost fainted from _not _being rejected." Russel then sighed. "Yeah, those were some good times. It's too bad he ain't here anymore." Both Noodle and 2D could see the look of sadness on his face. "So baby girl, got anything you'd like to share?"

"Oh, you guys already know my story." They could see her reason for not wanting to share-when you're an experimental super soldier what is there to tell? Everyone then looked at Murdoc.

"Well Muds, it looks like you're last."

"No way, lards. I ain't sharing a thing with you."

"Come now, Murdoc-san. There must be something you'd like to share. An experience maybe? One that's... appropriate." A brief look of what appeared to be sadness crossed his face, but it was gone before anyone could say anything.

"Heck no! Not happening." He folded his arms for emphasis.

"We've all shared something. Perhaps you could tell us more about your childhood."

"You already know about that. I never had a mother and I despise my brother and father. What's there to tell?"

"You could talk about when you went to school. Oh! Or maybe you could tell us a story like Russel's." Murdoc shot 2D a look that said 'shut up and I won't kill you.'

"Yes. Don't you have any good memories?"

"Yeah, Muds. Didn't you at least have some friends?"

"No! Okay?! I'm going to my Winnebago. Do NOT bother me." With that he got up and stormed out.

"That did not go the way I expected." Noodle and the others were a little surprised at Murdoc's sudden outburst.

"It's okay, baby girl. I'm sure he'll get over it." Russel placed a comforting hand on her shoulder before turning on the TV. "Why don't we find something to watch?"

Murdoc had been deeply annoyed when Noodle mentioned his childhood. She knew it was a sensitive topic for him. "Humph. Who needs friends? I'm Murdoc Niccals, I don't need_ friends. _I've already got everything I need. Plenty of alcohol, money, my bass, Cortez, and fame. What else is there?" He nearly flung the door off the Winnie before slamming it shut. He laid down on the bed and closed his eyes.

* * *

_Flashback_

_Some kids were standing near their lockers talking and laughing until Murdoc approached them. "What do you want, freak?" Murdoc shrunk down after hearing this._

_"I uh, wanted to know if you guys maybe wanted to... y'know... hang after school." He gulped. He was really hoping they would say yes._

_"Riiight. We would but uh, we don't hang out with weirdos." _

_"Yeah. And we also don't want people to think we hang around dumpster people. You really should try this thing called a shower." The girl, Melissa, laughed and then walked away with the others. Murdoc was crushed. That was the one girl he truly liked. It's not his fault his dad didn't pay half the bills. Most of the money went to his drinking. Did she really think he chose not to shower? Murdoc sighed and decided to spend the rest of third period outside since trying to get his grades up at this point was useless. Not to mention half his teachers hated him anyway._

_End flashback_

* * *

Murdoc was sprawled out on his bed wondering how different he would've been if his childhood was better. He'd probably be much happier. Maybe if his dad hadn't been such a lush, his brother such a jerk, if his mother had actually been there, and if he didn't have that red eye, then maybe he would've had friends as a kid. Maybe he wouldn't be so bitter and cruel, and would have a reputation greater than just being the Gorillaz' bassist. He did enjoy his fame, but sometimes it would be nice if he had someone more to share it with. Not just his band or his... ahem, 'girlfriends' to discuss it with, but someone special. "At least I've got you, Cortez. That's something, right?" The bird just looked at him as if to say 'Stop lying to yourself, you know that's not true.' Murdoc sighed.

"Nobody asked you." He grumbled.

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**A/N: Tell me how you liked it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's another chapter!**

* * *

When Murdoc walked into the kitchen the next day, everyone stopped eating and stared at him. They were obviously still surprised by his previous outburst. After awkward stares followed him to the fridge he finally had enough. "What're you lot looking at?!" Everyone's eyes shot to the floor, ceiling, wall, and anywhere else that wasn't Murdoc. Just as he was about to walk out 2D spoke up.

"Y'know we're your friends, right Muds?" Murdoc froze for a second, grunted, and then proceeded to leave the room. Stu's black eyes watched the floor.

"Band practice in twenty minutes!" He called. "If you know what's good for you, you won't be late! That goes extra for you, faceache!"

"Do not let him upset you, 2D-san. He just has his own way of caring. Murdoc-san is not one for talking about his feelings."

"Yeah. That's just how his arrogant butt is."

"Thanks guys." Their words brightened the singer up a little.

The time for practice came pretty quickly. They played most of their first songs and a few ideas they came up with while in there. Russel was pounding his drums, Noodle was joyfully strumming her guitar, and 2D was happily singing. All of them were having a good time except for Murdoc. He stood there strumming his bass with a permanent scowl etched onto his features. Whenever 2D would give one of his famous grins after a song Murdoc's scowl would deepen. Every now and then he'd miss a note because Noodle and 2D's overwhelming happiness would get to him. As soon as they were done playing Clint Eastwood Murdoc threw down his bass and stomped over to the confused singer. He grabbed him by the collar and began screaming in his face. "What is wrong with you?!" 2D just whimpered in response. "Well?!"

"W-what do you mean? I was just singing."

"And what were you doing while you were singing?" Murdoc had lowered his voice but still held the glimmer of rage in his eyes.

"Um... breathing?"

"NO! You were smiling! You're too happy! Gorillaz is supposed to be a dark band! You and the girl are ruining our image!" Murdoc's face was now directly in 2D's and the singer's eyes were watering from the stench of alcohol and zero dental hygiene.

"But I don't see why we can't have fun while we're practicing songs and stuff. I mean-"

"SHUT IT! You mean NOTHING!" Murdoc pulled his fist back and was about to punch the bluenette when Noodle stopped him.

"Murdoc! That's enough! Stop right now!" Noodle and Russel had decided to step in. Noodle started yelling at Murdoc in Japanese while Russel pried him off the now frightened singer.

"Let me go, you fat-mph!" Russel slapped a hand over his mouth to keep any obscenities from pouring out.

"Look. I don't know what the heck your problem is lately but you better fix it. This is starting to get old."

"Russel-san is right. You are beginning to get out of hand." Murdoc managed to fight his way out of Russel's grip by licking his hand.

"Yuck!"

"Out of hand?!_ I'm _out of hand?! Forget you all!" He stormed out of the recording room and was considering driving off to calm down and get some peace of mind when two arms suddenly attached to his middle.

"Murdoc-san, I am sorry for yelling at you. Could you please tell at least me why you are so angry?"

"Oh, now you care." He tried detaching her arms but she held him tight.

"Please, Murdoc-san. If you don't tell me something then I will be forced to use Russel's method for solving this."

"And what would that be, luv?" He stopped pulling at her arms and instead stood there looking straight ahead.

"Therapy."

"What?" He was a little surprised at this. "In case you didn't notice, your little 'family night' didn't go so well."

"No. Russel-san believes you are suffering from some sort of personal distress and should go see a real therapist." Unseen eyebrows shot up. "And I must say, I do not disagree with him. You have been acting like this for the past few weeks. Something must be troubling you." Murdoc sighed.

"If I tell you, then you'll defend me when Russ tries to drag me to the nut house?"

"I did not say he would-"

"Just answer the question."

"Yes. I will try to convince him not to take you to a therapist."

"Good. Come on." He gestured for her to follow him and they headed into his Winnebago. "Look luv. I'm sure you already know this but... I haven't exactly had an excellent childhood. It's not really worth remembering." She nodded, not just showing him that she was listening but to tell him to continue. "Well, some of the things I do now may have come from that."

"Why do you always insist on hurting 2D both physically and mentally?" Murdoc squirmed, becoming rather uncomfortable with the conversation.

"I guess... cuz I was and... erm, y'know, just cuz."

"I know it's not just because you can." Murdoc looked away. "Why do you do it, Murdoc-san?"

"Because... because I hate prettyboys like him."

"What?" Despite her bangs, Murdoc could still tell she wasn't very happy with his answer.

"Now hear me out, luv! It's because of this guy back when I was in school. He was a lot like faceache, er, Stu. Girls just loved him, but he couldn't tell the difference between the sky and a bus. For an idiot he was pretty arrogant too. He uh... did a lot of cruel things to me too."

"Like stuff you in lockers?"

"Swirlies."

"So that's why you tried to drown Stu in one of the toilets?"

"What? No. He drank the last beer." Noodle slapped her hand over her face. "But he used to, y'know, 'bully' me a lot. I guess I just got a problem with airheaded prettyboys after that." He shrugged, as if it meant absolutely nothing.

"You do realize that you will have to be more honest than that, don't you? This isn't going to keep Russel-san from making you go see a therapist."

"You don't need to know my entire life story, girlie!"

"Very well." She stood up and casually walked to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To make arrangements with your new therapist."

"What?! Now you just wait one minute!"

"We have no other choice. If you won't tell me what your problem is then you'll just have to tell all of us and a complete stranger." She went to go find Russel while Murdoc stood there, shocked.

"So then it's settled. Right, we'll be there by noon. Goodbye." Russel hung up the phone while Noodle and 2D waited for the answer. "We gotta be there by noon tomorrow."

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Murdoc roared. He came into the kitchen looking so vile that just his stare could probably kill something.

"We're only tryin' to help, Muds." The bassist looked at 2D about ready to hit him so the singer just fell out of his chair to save him the trouble.

"I ain't goin' to a therapist and that's final." 2D looked at Noodle from under the table, Noodle looked at Russel, and then all three of them looked at Murdoc.

"Yes you are." They all said in unison. It seems that Murdoc didn't have a choice. It was three against one, and just Russel alone could overpower him anyway. So it looks like Murdoc was going to get some therapy.

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**A/N: Will Murdoc's therapy go well? You'll have to read the next chapter to find that out. Review please. I hope you liked it**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I think I might try to make this one a little longer. I'm also changing the title.**

* * *

"I hate all of you."

"Shut up, Muds. We're only doing this cuz of you. The only one you should blame is yourself." Russel was driving the geep since Murdoc wouldn't willingly go to the therapist. 2D was riding shotgun as usual, while Murdoc was trapped in the back with Noodle. "Now we're gonna be late. You probably would've been almost done by now if you had just left without a fight. But no, we had to spend twenty minutes trying to get you outta that piece of crap Winnebago."

"It ain't crap! And you owe me a new door." The door Murdoc was talking about was the door of his beloved Winnebago. Murdoc had shut himself inside to avoid the appointment and after a good twenty minutes of trying to coax him out Russel pried the door off and literally dragged the bassist to the geep where the others were waiting.

"We will fix it later, Murdoc-san."

"Of course ya will." Murdoc practically spit out the sarcasm.

"Are we there yet?" Only 2D would ask the dreaded question that all drivers hated. Fortunately for Russel, they had just pulled up.

"Yup." He climbed out, followed by 2D, Noodle, and a grumbling Murdoc. They walked inside what looked more like a doctor's office than a therapist's. The unidentifiable paintings of random colors that seemed to be a standard in all offices, a TV showing nothing but health info, and the ever so common white walls. The only thing different was the fish tank. Russel headed up to the receptionist. "We've got an appointment for a Mr. Niccals." The girl looked up and was slightly startled by his white eyes.

"Oh, um... of course. Let me just take a look." She stopped staring at the drummer to scroll through some files. "Ah, here it is. Dr. Landsky will be out in just a little bit. He's got an appointment that lasted a bit longer than expected."

"That's a relief. I thought we'd miss ours since we were late. There was some trouble getting a certain _someone_ here."

"No worries." She smiled, apparently over Russel's appearance. "So... is that him?" She lowered her voice and gestured to 2D, who had his face pressed to the fish tank. Every now and then he'd slide his face along the glass to follow a fish that caught his interest.

"No. Don't mind him. He's had a few... 'accidents' over the years. He's got more than a screw loose. Heck, he's probably lost a few." The receptionist nodded in understanding.

"Well, we do have some constructive learning courses if you'd like to try those." Now 2D was making fish lips and moving towards Noodle, who was reading a magazine.

"Stu-san, you're being an embarrassment. People are looking." The few people in the room were in fact staring at the singer as if he had lost his mind.

"I'll have to think about that." Russel went to go sit with the others. Eventually Murdoc, who was in no mood for anything, went over and slapped 2D upside the head.

"Knock it off, Pot-head! I'm already in a bad mood, don't make it worse!" He went to sit back down but noticed everyone watching him. "What're YOU lookin' at?" Everyone looked away.

"Mr. Niccals?" Dr. Landsky appeared in the doorway. He had brown hair with a few grey streaks and wore glasses.

"C'mon Muds." Russel stood up and dragged Murdoc by his arm. He struggled and even hissed earning odd looks. Noodle and 2D followed close behind, the former wishing this was over. They walked into another white room, this time with only a few seats and your typical therapist lounge chair. Noodle and 2D sat down while Russel wrestled Murdoc into the seat.

"I don't-"

"I don't care. After everything we've been through gettin' you here we're not goin' home until this is over. Got it?" Murdoc just grumbled and folded his arms.

"I take it this is Mr. Niccals?"

"Yup."

"Alright then. So what brings you here?"

"Them." Murdoc jerked his head towards his band mates.

"That's not what I meant. Why are you here? What seems to be troubling you?" At first Murdoc didn't answer, and Russel was going to say something but then he spoke up.

"Nightmares." The therapist nodded while Russel, Noodle, and 2D looked at him with shocked faces. Murdoc Niccals, THE Murdoc Niccals, had nightmares. Who would've guessed? They knew he probably had bad memories but nightmares? That's a shocker.

"I see. Could you maybe describe these nightmares?"

"Well, um... most are sorta from my childhood."

"Did you not have a good childhood?"

"No."

"Why is that?"

"I just didn't." He was closing himself off again.

"Please, Mr. Niccals. You're going to have to explain." Murdoc sighed.

"My father...and my brother abused me."

"What about your mother?"

"I-I never knew her." The usually confident and arrogant bassist had his eyes glued to his hands, which were in his lap. He had relaxed enough to lean all the way back in the chair, but was still uncomfortable. Dr. Landsky wrote a few things on his clipboard before asking more questions.

"How did they abuse you?"

"In every way possible. Physically, mentally, emotionally, you name it. It was just constant torture. My father used to make me do talent contests at a pub so he could get drinking money. If I didn't win him enough he'd take me home and beat me till I was a bloody mess. He broke my nose five times. Sometimes I used to think that I'd bleed out. Then there's my brother. He was always my father's favorite. He was still beaten, but not as much. My father blamed me for my mother being crazy. Always said it was after she had me." His band mates were shocked. They'd heard about his past but most of it was small things that he mentioned when either drunk or pestered enough to tell.

"Do you speak with any of them?"

"Sometimes my brother calls asking for money and I hang up on him. He can deal with his own problems. As for my father... I don't really care. For all I know he could be dead. Not like I care. Good riddance if he is." Despite his harsh words, Murdoc was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. Everyone could see it on his face. The way his red eye twitched, how he clenched and unclenched his fists, and how his jaw was tightening. He looked like he was going to explode. Whether it would be into a fit of tears or a fit of rage was unknown.

"Murdoc-san, are you alright?" Noodle walked over to him and held one of his hands. He didn't respond even after she gave his hand a squeeze. He had a faraway look, as if his mind was elsewhere.

"Is he gonna be okay?" 2D had walked over and was waving his hand in the bassist's face. "He ain't doin' nothing."

"I'm sure he's perfectly fine. Sometimes when people remember things they try to forget, it comes back to haunt them, so to speak. He'll snap out of it." The therapist acted like it was normal behavior, but this was Murdoc. He wasn't one for getting all emotional. 2D continued to wave his hand in Murdoc's face until he suddenly came to and jabbed the singer in his already damaged eyeballs.

"OW!" He reeled back with his hands over his face. Murdoc then yanked his hand from Noodle and got up.

"Murdoc-san! Where are you going?"

"Home." With that he walked out of the room. Russel sent Noodle and 2D after him before apologizing to Dr. Landsky.

"Sorry 'bout that. I guess we'll be goin' early."

"Don't worry about it." He adjusted his glasses. "You're welcome to reschedule."

"Something tells me Muds ain't goin' through this again." The therapist nodded.

"Well, just know that you're welcome." Russel nodded and then went out to the geep. Murdoc had taken the wheel this time and Russel had to squeeze into the back. The ride back home was unnerving and silent. No one wanted to say a word, not even Russel, who wanted to chew out the bassist for storming out like that. When they finally did get back to Kong, everyone went to their own rooms. It seemed like they were too depressed to do anything. Russel went to go work on some project of his, 2D went to go watch movies, Noodle went to go play her guitar, and Murdoc went to go secretly shed the tears that had been threatening to fall. He'd never do it in front of the others. He already told them his life story, but he'd never let them see him cry. Most people, if not all, probably thought that he never cried. But in truth he did cry, but only when he was alone. The only other living creature that knew this was his pet, Cortez.

"They probably think I've gone soft." Murdoc opened a can of beer. "Well I ain't!" He chugged it and emptied it in only seconds. "I ain't soft. Murdoc Niccals don't get soft." He was slurring so badly that anyone who wasn't Cortez wouldn't have understood him. "I ain't a wimp. And I don't *hiccup* cry." He crushed the empty can and threw it onto the floor of the Winnebago, which was currently littered with dozens of other cans. He was going to get another, but ended up falling out of his chair. He passed out on the floor, or cans rather, just as there was a knock on the door, which had been lamely duct taped back on.

* * *

_"How is it my fault?"_

_"She was fine until she had you!" Murdoc's father slapped his son across the face. He was once again drunk, and since Hannibal wasn't home, he was taking out all his anger on the younger Niccals. "You're worthless!" Another slap._

_"But I haven't done anything!"_

_"You were born! That's something isn't it?!"_

_"That was your fault, you sick..." Murdoc stopped mid-sentence once he realized what he was saying and who he was talking to._

_"You stupid brat! This'll teach you to show me some respect!" He grabbed a couple of beer bottles._

_"No, please! I-I didn't mean it!" Too late. His father smashed each of the bottles on his head. His black hair had streaks of red in it, but that wasn't enough. His father grabbed him by his hair and punched him in the face so hard that there was a crunch._

_"Now get outta my sight!" Murdoc ran into his room and buried himself under the blankets. His nose was broken and bleeding badly. He tried to stop it with an old pillowcase but it just soaked through. And then there was the matter of his head. Eventually he cried himself to sleep, but not before he heard Hannibal suffer the same fate._

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**A/N: I decided to change the title because I just felt like it didn't suit the story well. Either way, I hope this chapter was pretty good. I tried to make it more emotional.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Alright, here's another chapter. I didn't think people would like it that much.**

* * *

"Murdoc-san, wake up."

"Hmm..." The bassist opened his eyes to see Noodle standing over him while Cortez watched from a distance. "When'd you get here?" The bird shook his head at this.

"I came to discuss some song ideas with you but you were passed out on the floor. You should really stop drinking. I thought you were dead when I first saw you."

"Well I'm not."

"You sure look like it though." Russel had stepped into the Winnebago and didn't hesitate to annoy the hungover Murdoc.

"Listen, tubby. Ya already broke the door, I don't need you to break everything else." Despite the pounding in his head there was no way Murdoc was gonna let Russel get away with insulting him.

"You're right. I guess we can't have it lookin' like your nose now can we?" Murdoc growled and was going to retaliate but Noodle stopped him.

"Boys, that's enough. How are you feeling, Murdoc-san?"

"Hungover."

"See? I told you he was fine, baby girl. He's always drunk like this."

"How long was I out?"

"A little over an hour. I must say, it has been your shortest one yet."

"Yeah, I'm disappointed."

"Don't be like that, man. One day you're gonna end up in the hospital or worse. Doesn't that worry you?" Murdoc didn't say or do anything other than stare at the drummer. "It does worry you, right?"

"Eh. Sure. I guess." He just shrugged. Russel and Noodle gave each other concerned looks.

"Uh... Murdoc-san? Don't you care that you could die from this?" He looked away. After a few moments of silence Noodle decided to tell him what she had seen. "When I first came in here, it looked like you had been... crying. And you do tend to drink more when stressed." Murdoc's eyes widened.

"You thought I was crying?! I DO NOT cry! Maybe you just need to move those bangs." Noodle huffed.

"Murdoc-san I know what I saw. Maybe you just need to admit something for once."

"Why should I? It's none of your business, girlie!"

"Uh, guys?" Russel didn't like to be the one who had to break up fights, but he usually had to.

"As_ your_ guitarist it _is_ my business! Why must you be so stubborn?"

"Why must you be so annoying?" At this Noodle started to yell at Murdoc in her native tongue while he yelled at her to shut up. Russel was massaging his temples.

"I'm gonna need a lot of aspirin." Eventually 2D heard the noise and went to investigate.

"What's goin' on? Why're Murdoc and Noodle yelling so much?"

"Noodle says she saw Murdoc crying and he's denying it."

"Murdoc cries? That means he can't make fun of me anymore!" Murdoc heard the singer's personal celebration and stopped yelling at Noodle.

"What'd you just say, Stu?" Murdoc seemed a little too calm and it freaked everyone out, except of course, 2D.

"I said, that if you cry then you can't make fun of me." Murdoc just nodded, and then lunged at the clueless bluenette.

"Don't you EVER say that again, faceache! I don't cry!" He tried to swing but Russel caught him. "Let me go!"

"You don't actually think I'm gonna stand here and let you knock his brains out, do you?"

"He doesn't have brains in that shell he calls a head!" He was still trying to escape.

"Fine. Then I won't let you knock that piece of paper out. Better? And besides, you were the one who knocked his brains loose anyway."

"Ahh! I'll kill you!"

"Huh? What did I do?"

"Forget it, Stu-san. Let's just leave Murdoc here to wallow in his self pity." Murdoc stopped struggling and turned to Noodle.

"Self pity? I don't wallow in any kind of pity. I live in fame."

"Fame does not last forever, Murdoc-san. What do you think will be left afterwards?" Noodle walked out leaving Russel and 2D to deal with a shocked Murdoc.

"Uh... I think I'll just let myself out."

"Wait Russ! What just happened?"

"Don't think about it too much, D. Ya might hurt yourself." 2D looked at Murdoc, who looked both enraged and upset.

"I... don't suppose you'd tell me?"

"Get outta here. Or I'll wring your neck."

"That's harsh." He held his throat just in case the bassist was true to his word. "I was just asking."

"Well don't ask! Just go!" He took a menacing step towards the bluenette, who got the hint and left. Sighing, Murdoc sat down. "Well, Cortez. I guess it's just you and me." The bird cawed and perched itself on his shoulder. "What?"

'Why do you push them away? They're all you have.' Murdoc scoffed. He didn't need his bird to tell him that. At least he was the only one who could understand the silent communication, otherwise the rest of the band would know his secrets.

"I don't push them away."

'Yes you do. You don't even talk to them.'

"I do talk to them. I just did."

'Not on a friendly level. It's more of a band-only level.' It was times like these when Murdoc wished he and his bird didn't share such a strong bond to where he could interpret his pet's looks. And that Cortez wasn't so smart.

"Like you're so social. And who asked you anyway? Mind your own business." He folded his arms and jerked the shoulder Cortez was on, a way of telling him to get off.

"CAW!"

"Not so loud." He said while rubbing his temples. Cortez cawed again, only louder this time. "Dang bird." He mumbled. He went to go look for the painkillers he had nabbed from 2D a little while ago, but when he opened the bottle Cortez flew into his hands knocking the bottle across the room. Pills flew everywhere. "Now look at what you've done!"

"CAW! CAW!" The bird flew by him and landed on a shelf before staring at him expectantly. Murdoc just growled in annoyance and walked out of the Winnebago. If one looked carefully they would see the small smile on Cortez's feathered face.

"So when is someone gonna tell me what happened?" 2D had yet to figure out why Murdoc and Noodle were yelling. He was currently in the living room with Russel, hoping he would shed some light on things.

"For the hundredth time, D, Murdoc's mad at Noodle for accusing him of crying."

"And?"

"What and? There's nothin' else to say. That's it."

"Really? I wonder why he got so ticked off then." 2D placed his index finger on his chin like he was in deep thought.

"It's Murdoc, man. When isn't he ticked?"

"Where's Noodle?"

"She's in her room. I asked her if she wanted to come out with us. She said she wanted to be alone."

"Oh yeah. So can we watch something other than cooking shows?"

"You've got your own TV. Go watch one of your crappy zombie movies in your room."

"They're not crappy." But he still left. As he got closer to his room, 2D noticed the door was slightly open. He couldn't remember leaving it open, and figured the only other way was that a zombie got in there. He tiptoed towards the door and peeked inside, ready to face a flesh-eating member of the un-dead. Instead he saw a disgruntled Murdoc rummaging through his room. He opened the door all the way but kept his distance from the bassist. He didn't want to get beaten up again, especially since his eye was still healing.

"C'mon, where are they?"

"Um... Murdoc? What're you doing in my room?" Murdoc stood up and whipped his head towards 2D. They both stared at each other until Murdoc wickedly grinned. 2D became uneasy. "W-why are you looking at me like that?"

"Where's your pills, faceache?"

"Huh?"

"Don't be stupid! Where. Are. Your. Pills? Do I really have to sound everything out?" The singer opened his hidden stash of pills.

"What do you want?"

"Painkillers." He handed the bottle to the green skinned man. "How many of these do you have? And where do you get them?" Murdoc was pretty surprised at the bluenette's vast collection of pills.

"Oh... y'know." 2D shrugged. He didn't really feel like explaining anything to him. Murdoc handed him the bottle and was in the doorway when D stopped him. "Noodle's upset y'know. You should go talk to her." The bassist took a deep breath.

"Whatever." He walked out and shut the door. He was considering going back to his Winnebago and sleeping away his troubles but thought against it. A feeling of guilt had been nagging him since the argument had started and the only it would go away was if he made amends. The only problem was that he wasn't good with apologizing. In the end, he chose to go to the Winnebago.

* * *

_ Flashback_

_Little Murdoc was sobbing into a pillow. He had stopped crying some time ago, but a few tears would occasionally fall. His father had yelled at him for asking him to apologize for all the mean things he had done. And if that wasn't enough, his brother had beaten him up for trying to tag along with him and his friends. So he had locked himself in his room. Sniffing, he grabbed the magazine he stole from a local vendor. He knew stealing was wrong, but it was the only way he'd get any form of entertainment. It was a music magazine about instruments. But the only ones he was interested in were the basses. He loved the deep sound and dreamed of learning how to play so one day he could start his own band and become famous. Then, he could come back home and tell his father and brother how wrong they were. He'd rub it in their faces. One day, he'd make his dream come true._

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's all for now. I'll update as soon as I can, which shouldn't be too long. Maybe a day or two. Please review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Here's another chapter. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

"Ahem. I... um, I'm really... Oh, this is stupid." Murdoc was standing in front of the cracked mirror in his Winnebago trying to think of the best way to apologize to Noodle. It wasn't in his nature to apologize, and he generally didn't care. The only reason, he told himself, was that if his guitarist stayed angry at him, then he'd never be able to make any new songs. "Hmm... y'know what? Maybe I'll just skip the formalities and get to the point. Noodle, as your leader, I demand that you stop being angry at me." He stared at his reflection, which had the same uncaring look he did. He sighed. "I guess it'll come to me." Murdoc stepped out into the car park and headed to Noodle's room.

When he got there, he could hear her strumming her guitar. For a few minutes he just stood there, taking in the sound. Then the music suddenly stopped. Murdoc took this as his cue to knock. "Who is it?"

"Not faceache." Murdoc smirked.

"Go away, Murdoc-san. I do not wish to see you."

"And just who do you think you are?! Open up!"

"Baka."

"I don't know what that means but I'm takin' it as an insult! Open this door now, ya little brat! I'll break it down if I have to!" The door was unlocked and Murdoc stepped inside.

"What do you want." The bassist was going to say apologize, but then realized that after the yelling he just did it'd be weird. He wasn't known for acts of kindness anyway. "Well?" Noodle had sat down on the bed and was watching him expectantly.

"I..." He froze.

"You have thirty seconds."

"Don't be like that, luv. I just came to say that maybe, by some small chance, I was wrong before." She looked at him possibly surprised, but it soon turned to annoyance.

"If you can't even say the whole thing like you mean it, then I have to assume that Russel-san is making you do this."

"Trust me, that behemoth has nothing to do with this."

"Must you always make fun of his weight?" Noodle's tone was more harsh than questioning.

"Yeah. What's wrong with that?"

"He cannot help that."

"Yes he can! He could try not eating everything in the fridge."

"Maybe you could try minding your own business. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you stressing him out with fat jokes is contributing to his eating?"

"That's got nothin' to do with it." Murdoc pretended to know even though he really hadn't thought about it like that.

"Really? You drink more when stressed. And you just proved it earlier. How would you feel of I always made rude comments about you?"

"Go ahead and try." He was feeling pretty smug since he knew Noodle would never bring up anything about his childhood. She was angry, but not stupid. Doing something like that would cause a major argument and possibly break up the band again.

"You're a lush, for starters."

"Ha! That all ya got luv?" Somehow his apology had turned into an insult competition.

"Asparagus isn't as green as you are."

"And?" Now they were both smiling slightly, their anger towards each other gone.

"You're wrinklier than a raisin and you sag like a deflated balloon."

"Oi! Now that's goin' a bit too far!" Noodle smiled and walked towards him.

"Listen, Russel-san is like a father to me. I just want you to treat him with a little more respect." She kissed him on the cheek. "Uncle Mudsy."

"Okay, too much sappy love." He wiped the spot where she kissed him.

"I forgive you. And I apologize for yelling at you before. And for calling you a baka."

"Hm... right." He smiled a little before walking out and going into the kitchen. It was no surprise that Russel was in there rummaging through the fridge. "Hey f-I mean Russ." The drummer stopped rummaging and turned around.

"Hey Muds."

"Y'know I was just thinking."

"'Bout what?"

"How long has out been since our last gig?" Russel shrugged.

"Maybe a month. It's definitely been awhile. Why? Are we doin' one soon?" The thought of getting out of Kong for something other than shopping sounded pretty good to him.

"We might. I'll let you know when I figure something out. Oh, and don't tell Noodle."

"Uh... sure but why?"

"Just don't." With that Murdoc left and Russel shrugged.

"I wonder why he doesn't wanna tell her. Maybe it's a surprise? Nah. Muds ain't like that." He resumed looking through the fridge.

"Hey dent-head! We're gonna have a gig soon!" Murdoc shouted through the singer's door. It didn't take long for it to open.

"We are? Where?"

"Um... I'll get back to you on that. Just don't tell Noodle. Because if you do..." He got in his face. "I'll take you into the woods and kill you." Then he backed off while the singer nearly fainted.

"I uh... I..."

"Glad that's understood." He turned around but stopped. "It _is _understood, right?" He glared at him darkly.

"Y-yes! Please don't kill me!"

"That depends on whether or not you can keep your mouth shut. Think of it this way: if ya can't stay quiet now, then you'll have no problem when you're dead." Murdoc laughed as he walked away and 2D shivered. Still pale from the frightening threat, the singer slowly shut the door, locked it, and pushed some stuff in front of it. That night he slept with his favorite switchblade.

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**A/N: I know it's not very detailed or long but I'll try to make up for that. Anyways, please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So here's another chapter. Like I said I'll try to make it longer than the last one.**

* * *

The next day Murdoc sent 2D and Noodle out so he and Russel could plan the gig. Of course, 2D had forgotten all of what Murdoc told him the night before and asked why they had to leave, but the bassist fixed that by reminding him how vast the woods were. This made Noodle suspicious, but Russel got her to believe that it was just an inside joke and that he wanted them out so he and Murdoc could deal with some of the zombies. They agreed to go see a movie and come back after. After they left Russel sighed in relief. Then he turned to Murdoc. "There. Now we don't have a lot of time, so you better make this quick."

"Don't worry about it, Russ. I've already got it handled." He had a couple of phonebooks and was looking through one of them.

"I still don't get why we can't tell Noodle. It's just as important to her as it is to us." Murdoc sighed.

"Because, lardball, I don't want her to know."

"Why? Are you trying to surprise her? That's so sweet." Russel was stifling a laugh.

"Humph. Don't push it, fatty."

"Alright, alright. One more question."

"What?"

"What did you mean when you told D that the woods was such a vast place? It was kinda creepy." Murdoc stopped flipping through the pages and looked up at the drummer before breaking into a wide, bone-chilling grin.

"Oh... nothing. Mhmhmmhmhahaha." The bassist had returned to the books but the creepy grin was still on his face. Russel just shuddered before sitting next to him and going through some books himself.

"So who is it we're tryin' to find?"

"Some charity that's havin' an event in a couple days. I know how much Noods likes charity events, so I thought it would be a good idea. It's a win for everyone. We get a gig, Noodle's happy, and some hobos get to see us."

"Uh, Muds? Y'know charity events ain't just for... hobos?"

"Whatever. Just help me find it."

"It would be easier if you knew the name."

"It was called... Giving Joy I believe."

"Well, here it is right here. Giving Joy Charity."

"Gimme that!" Murdoc snatched the book from Russel and dialled the number. It didn't take very long for someone to answer. "Yes, this is Murdoc Niccals speaking. Who?! What do ya mean who?! I'm only the bassist and leader of the greatest band in the world! I'm calling because I would like to schedule a performance at your event. That's right. Imagine how many more people would show up once they found out that Gorillaz was gonna be there. Perfect! We'll definitely be there! Just try not to make it too public. I don't want someone to know." He hung up and leaned back in the chair.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Russel face-palmed.

"The gig! When is it?"

"Oh! This Saturday. The event starts at 2, but we're gonna be there at around 4."

"Okay. So I guess we'd better rehearse?"

"Nooo. We're gonna just sit back and do nothing but smoke and drink."

"Alright, it's your call."

"Yes we're gonna practice! How stupid are you?!"

"Man, I'm just messin' with you. Calm down."

"Ahh, shut up." Murdoc went to grab a beer. "Want one?"

"Sure... I guess." Russel scratched the back of head in confusion. Usually Murdoc wasn't one for doing favors and he never shared anything. The green skinned man handed him a bottle. They both opened theirs and drank in silence. Eventually Russel decided to break that silence. "What's with you lately? You've been acting weird. It seems like you're off." Murdoc tilted the bottle to get the last few drops out before looking at the drummer.

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since that argument about you always fighting D and therapy you've been acting different. You alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You did say you had nightmares. About your childhood. It didn't sound too great. Maybe you should get it off your chest."

"I don't badger you about your personal business."

"Sorry man. I was just tryin' to help. If you don't wanna talk about it I can understand. I know how you feel." Murdoc looked down.

"No, you don't." Russel looked at him, surprised.

"What?"

"You don't know how I feel."

"Muds, I know what it's like to have bad memories. I get why you don't like to talk about it."

"NO! YOU DON'T!" Russel jumped a little. Then, just as quickly as he got angry he calmed down. "You don't know anything about me. And why do even care?" The bassist looked at him with a sad look in his eyes. It seemed so out of character for him to be like that.

"Muds, you might be a total jerk... and a few other things, but you're still a friend."

"A friend?" He looked at him in total shock. Then it turned to anger. "How can you call me a friend?! What's the matter with you?!"

"Chill out. Why are gettin' so mad? You're supposed to be happy."

"I'm never happy." He got up and left, leaving Russel completely confused.

"Okaaay. Something is very wrong with him."

An hour later Noodle and 2D came back. "We're back!"

"Hey D. How was the movie?"

"Oh it was great, Russ!"

"It was a zombie movie."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me, baby girl."

"So where is Murdoc-san?"

"Uh..." Russel couldn't tell her about the phone call and he also couldn't tell her where the bassist had slinked off to. "Honestly I have no idea. He flipped out earlier and went somewhere. He could be in his Winnebago. Why don't you go check?"

"Hai." Noodle left and Russel motioned for 2D to come sit next to him.

"Yeah?"

"Murdoc set up a gig at that Giving Joy event this Saturday. We're goin' at 4."

"Okay." They sat there scanning channels on the TV.

Meanwhile, Noodle approached Murdoc's Winnibago and knocked. No answer. "Perhaps he is passed out again." She opened the door and stepped inside. She looked around only to find that it was empty. "Strange. Maybe he's on the roof." She went to leave but saw a piece of paper. Curious, she grabbed it and saw it was a note.

_ Went out for a little while. Be back whenever. Don't look for me. And remind faceache about the vastness of the woods just for the fun of it._

"What is his fascination with the woods?" Noodle pocketed the note and stepped into the car park. Now that she looked, the geep was indeed missing. She decided to go tell the others.

"Did you find him?"

"No, Russel-san. He is gone."

"Gone? What do you mean he's gone?" She handed him the note. "Figures he'd just drive off without sayin' anything."

"So what is it with him and the woods? He's been mentioning it a lot." 2D's face paled.

"Don't worry about it, baby girl. It's just an inside joke. I guess all we can do for now is wait for him to get back." They all sat there watching TV.

Murdoc had left to gather his thoughts. He felt stupid for yelling at Russel. The drummer hadn't meant any harm, and it had actually made the bassist feel good to know that he had a friend. He always thought that Russel hated him. "What is my problem? Why do I keep chasing everyone away? Am I really that bitter now?" He might as well of been talking to the wall since he wasn't going to get an answer. He sighed. He didn't know what was going on with him. First of all, he was going the speed limit, and then there was the matter of his little mood swings. He also felt extremely depressed. The thought of suicide had crossed his mind quite a few times ever since he got in the geep. A voice in the very back of his mind kept telling him how easy it would be to just step on the gas and let the car do the rest but he ignored it. He couldn't do that. Especially not since he made a surprise for Noodle. His little Noodle. The one who loved him like an uncle. No one had ever been that close to him let alone tried to be.

* * *

_"Why don't you love me?!"_

_"Why would I?! You're a worthless child! Why can't you at least be more like your brother?!" Murdoc and his father were yelling at each other again. This time Murdoc was really standing up to him._

_"Why would I be like him?! So I can be a loser?!" ** PUNCH ** His father nailed him right in the jaw. He stumbled back and his dad began to beat the crap outta him._

* * *

Murdoc shivered. Now he was really thinking about gunning it. However, he stepped on the brake instead. For some odd reason, there weren't many people out, and he was now right in front of the therapist's. He shrugged and took the key out of the ignition.

* * *

**A/N: Well there ya go. Review please.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So this chapter is gonna have more of an emotional aspect. Also, there will be something kinda creepy. I think it is anyway.**

* * *

Murdoc had spent a half hour just sitting in the geep, smoking. He couldn't decide whether or not he should go inside the office, ended up getting stressed, and started craving more cigarettes than he needed. He found a pack stashed in the glove box, most likely by himself, and smoked almost half of it. "Maybe I should at least try. Just for a minute. If it doesn't work out I can always leave." He flicked the cigarette butt onto the road and stepped out of the geep. He walked inside and headed straight to the desk. This time, there wasn't anyone other than himself.

"Can I help you?" The receptionist put down the magazine she was reading and smiled brightly at the bassist despite his looks.

"I uh, don't suppose a Dr. Landsky is here?"

"Oh he is. Do you have an appointment?"

"No. It was sorta... a last minute decision. I just wanted to speak to him real quick."

"Well, since there isn't anyone here I don't see a problem with letting you do that. Weren't you here before?"

"Yeah, but that was against my will."

"Ah. You know which room right?"

"Yeah." Murdoc walked down the hallway with a nervous feeling in his stomach. He wasn't sure why he suddenly decided to come here and he didn't even try to flirt with the girl at the desk. "What's wrong with me?" He reached the door and knocked.

"Come in." Murdoc opened the door and walked inside. As soon as he shut it the doctor looked up. "Oh. I thought you were Josef with my coffee. What are you doing here?"

"Um... just wondering if you had any free time."

"Of course. Does it look like I'm busy? Sit down, Mr... Niccals was it?"

"Yeah, that's me." He sat back in the lounge chair with his hands on his stomach.

"So, what brings you here this time?"

"I'm not sure actually." He really wasn't. After all, he was just driving along and somehow ended up here.

"You're not sure? How can you not know? Didn't you come here by choice?" The bassist thought about it for a moment.

"I guess you could say it was fate more than choice."

"Uh, alright then. So is there anything you'd like to discuss?" Dr. Landsky sat back and pushed his glasses up.

"So do you know anyway to stop thinking about suicide? It's been on my mind a lot lately."

"Well, have you thought about why this is occurring to you? Most of the time it's from depression, but in some cases it's from some sort of mental illness."

"I don't have a mental illness! I'm just depressed."

"Why?"

"I don't know." He sighed. "I really don't know what my problem is. I'm acting different and everyone's noticing. I think maybe... it's from my past. Ever since I was reminded about what my so-called family did to me I've been really messed up. More than usual. My band mates are trying to cheer me up but I keep pushing them away. I appreciate the gesture, but I'm not sure why I'm so uncomfortable about it."

"I see. I think I might know what's wrong."

"Really?"

"Yes. You see, because you grew up in such a harsh and un-loving environment, you're not used to affection. And it's obvious that you don't like to discuss your childhood. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. It's most likely because you aren't used to getting or giving affection and kindness."

"I don't see what that has to do with thoughts of suicide." Feeling more at home, Murdoc rested his hands behind his head.

"That is more of a personal thing. Just remember that killing yourself isn't the answer to your problems."

"Right. Got it." The bassist stretched and stood up. "Y'know what, doc? I actually feel better."

"Glad to hear it. Feel free to come back anytime you want." Murdoc nodded and left. As he drove back to Kong he wasn't bothered by a single dark thought. He had been out longer than he thought because the sun was going down. He climbed out of the geep and headed towards his Winnebago. He wasn't in the mood to speak with anyone. He opened the door and suddenly felt tired.

"I'm gettin' old." He laid on his bed and looked around his mobile home. Before he knew it, he was asleep.

* * *

When Murdoc woke up, he saw that he had only been asleep for 45 minutes. "That's weird. It felt longer than that." He got up and cracked his back. He noticed he wasn't wearing a shirt, which wasn't unusual, but he didn't remember taking it off. Shrugging, he walked out into the car park. It was a little windy out; he could hear it rustling the trees and howling. Yet another thing to be ignored since it was Kong and it was known for creepy things like that. The only thing that did catch Murdoc's attention was the fact that it was dead silent. (No pun intended) Normally the moaning of zombies could be heard or the screech of a raven, usually Murdoc's. But it was completely silent except for the wind and the click of his Cuban heels on the pavement. While it did scare him a little, he decided to go check on the others. He approached the lift and pressed the button. When it finally came the doors opened a smidge then stopped. "Huh?" Murdoc stuck his hands in the small gap and tried to pry the doors open but they suddenly slammed shut, squashing his fingers in the process. "OW!" He managed to pull his hands out and held them close. Growling, he decided to take the stairs.

After a few minutes he reached the living room and found Russel, Noodle, and 2D watching the TV. "Hey."

"Hi Murdoc." They all said in unison. If the bassist hadn't been so good at concealing his feelings he would've shuddered. It sounded kind of creepy.

"What're you watching?" He stepped between them and the TV after he noticed that the only thing it was showing was static. At first, none of them said anything, then 2D started laughing like a maniac. He was doubled over and holding his sides. Noodle and Russel didn't do anything other than sit there, and Murdoc was absolutely confused. When 2D didn't stop Murdoc's confusion turned into anger. "What's so funny, faceache?" He snarled. 2D kept on laughing, and that's when Murdoc lost it. He brought his first back and went to punch him directly in the face, but just as it was about to make contact 2D caught it. He stopped laughing while Murdoc stood there gobsmacked. He tried to pull his arm back but the singer's grip was strong. Suddenly he looked up at the bassist with an evil smile.

"What's the matter Murdoc?" His voice was taunting, like he knew something the bassist didn't. Murdoc continued to struggle and 2D chuckled darkly. "Don't you get it?"

"Get what?" Even though he was hiding his fear, the bluenette seemed to sense it.

"You can't fight it. And you can't escape." Murdoc stopped struggling for a moment.

"E-escape what?" 2D pulled him closer.

"You." He suddenly threw the older man across the room. He hit the wall sharply before landing on the floor with a thud.

"You... you're so dead... faceache." While he was still in a daze the singer's hand suddenly closed around his throat. He felt himself being lifted off the ground.

"_I'm _so dead? I think you have that backwards." He slammed Murdoc into the wall. "You don't realize how much you've screwed up do you? Look at what you've done. Noodle and Russel have abandoned you." It was true since they were no longer there. 2D lowered him to eye-level. "And I despise you. So do they. That's why they left." While his words were harsh the singer still had the wicked grin on his face and the glint of malice in his eyes. All Murdoc could do was give a couple of gurgling noises because of the bluenette's iron grip on his neck. He started laughing again, only this time he began dragging the bassist through the studio by his neck. They reached the roof and 2D held him over the edge. "It's ashamed you never thought about the consequences sooner." He yawned in a bored sort of way before letting go. "Goodbye, Murdoc." The bassist tumbled until he was falling face first. The ground kept getting closer and closer until...

* * *

*GASP!* Murdoc shot up breathing heavily. He checked his surroundings to be certain that he was still in his bed in his Winnebago. And most importantly, still alive. Finding he was alright aside from the near heart attack he sighed in relief. "What the heck was that?" He was glad it was just a dream. After taking a minute to calm down completely he got up. Unlike the dream he was still wearing his shirt, so that was one good thing. He walked out into the car park and was relieved to hear the sounds of the un-dead. Following a hunch, he decided to take the stairs. When he reached the living room the others were in the same positions as before but this time they were actually watching something. He stepped in front of them just to see their reactions.

"Move it, man!"

"Murdoc-san you're in the way!"

"Uh, Muds, you're blockin' the screen." He nodded, more to himself than anything. Nothing out of place here. But there was one more thing he wanted to check. 2D couldn't be as cruel and cunning as in the dream, right?

"Hey faceache. What's the square root of 36?"

"Um... 12?"

"Close enough." He looked at them all one last time before sitting in there with them. They were a little confused but decided not to say anything.

* * *

**A/N: And that's another chapter. Oh, and don't worry, the hobos will enjoy the performance xD. Anyway, tell me if you liked it.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry about the wait. I had a lot of other stuff to do but I'm back.**

* * *

The entire time they were watching TV Murdoc kept looking at 2D. He'd wait until no one was paying attention, and then steal a glance at the singer. Unbeknownst to the bassist, 2D did notice and was very creeped out. He felt like he should say something several times but decided against it. Luckily for him the black voids he had for eyes made it easy for him to watch Murdoc without him knowing. He wasn't sure why he suddenly so interested in him and was practically shaking on the inside. For all he knew, the bassist was planning to cut him open later and try to sell his kidneys. Russel and Noodle noticed 2D and Murdoc's staring contest but didn't say a word about it, each for different reasons. Russel just didn't want to get involved, and Noodle wasn't in the mood to hear Murdoc's yelling. After another few minutes of mismatched eyes watching black ones 2D snapped.

"Why are you staring at me?! You're not gonna cut out my organs and sell 'em are ya?!" The singer's eyes were wide, as were the bassist's. Russel and Noodle looked at them like they had spoken another language.

"Murdoc... I thought we discussed this. Sellin' D's organs ain't gonna get us good publicity." 2D then looked at Russel with a look that said 'What?! When did you discuss this?!'

"Shut up, lards. I wasn't thinking about his organs. I wasn't even lookin' at him." Murdoc folded his arms and looked to the side.

"Murdoc-san, why don't you tell us what's really on your mind? It was obvious that you were staring at 2D. Is there something wrong?" She looked at him, and Murdoc found himself wishing she was ten again and unable to speak English.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Something must be. You've been watchin' me like a freak the whole time. What's on your mind?"

"Do you really wanna know, faceache?" Murdoc looked at the singer with a dead serious expression.

"Um... yes?" He wasn't so sure all of a sudden. The bassist narrowed his eyes.

"Fine. For starters, there's beer. And wine and booze and just about every other form of alcohol. And women, of course." He grinned.

"Man, you know that's not what he meant. Why were you watching D?" Murdoc looked at him for a moment before looking down. He knew he'd have to tell the truth. He couldn't think of an excuse and leaving would just result in them asking him later.

"D... you wouldn't... kill me, would you?" Murdoc's eyes were cast down, unable to meet his band mates'.

"Kill you? Why would I do that?" 2D was shocked that he would ask such a thing.

"Well why wouldn't you? After everything I've done I wouldn't blame you. I probably wouldn't stop you either." He said the last part quietly but the others still heard.

"Murdoc-san! How can you say that?!"

"Yeah. What would make you think he would kill you?" Russel and Noodle have been worried about Murdoc's attitude lately, but this wasn't something they'd ever expect him to say.

"Muds, what would make you say that?" 2D looked at him, waiting for an answer.

"I had a dream... a nightmare actually. You killed me. And Russel and Noodle left." An awkward silence filled the room.

"Murdoc-san, we'd never leave you. None of us would kill you either." Noodle went over and hugged him. "Don't ever think that." At first he squirmed, but then remembered what the therapist had said and slowly wrapped his arms around her small frame.

"Why are you hugging me?" He wasn't angry, just surprised.

"Because I love you, Mudsy. You're that weird and perverted uncle that everyone has."

"Oh, okay. Hey!" Noodle motioned for the others to join. Reluctantly, they did, but soon went with it. They may fight and argue but they did have their family moments. It was rare, but it was nice and comforting. They stayed like that for a minute and then broke apart.

"So, why don't you tell us about this nightmare of yours? You never did share a memory or anything with us before so I'd say now's a good time." Russel waited for his reply but wouldn't be surprised if Murdoc refused. Much to their astonishment, the bassist told them everything about the nightmare. Including the part where 2D dropped him off the roof of Kong. The bluenette didn't show it, but he was pretty upset and a little insulted that Murdoc would think he would kill him. He was so gentle he wouldn't even hurt a fly. Well, maybe a fly. Flies are super annoying. Murdoc wanted to go after he was done speaking, but they wouldn't let him. They said being alone was something he didn't need. After a quick argument they were all settled in the living room with beers, except for Noodle who had a soda. After his fourth beer Murdoc had, as usual, discarded his shirt. It was lying on the floor as if it were a rug.

"Y'know Muds? I'm surprised it hasn't burned a hole in the floor yet."

"I'm surprised the couch hasn't broke yet." Murdoc shot the drummer a glare while scratching his stomach.

"I'm shocked you haven't lost your skin yet, man."

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?!" Now the green skinned man was truly offended.

"You're always scratchin' yourself. Maybe you wouldn't itch so bad if you actually bathed. You know, get the dirt and whatever's livin' on you off." Murdoc huffed.

"Talk to me about that when you've lost weight. And there ain't things living on me."

"Maybe they're under your skin and that's why it's green." 2D was trying to be helpful but only annoyed the bassist more.

"Now's not the time for you to remember you have a brain and try to make smart comments. Unless, of course, you'd like to be in a third car accident."

"Humph. Maybe your bad attitude comes from a bug that crawled up your-"

"You guys, stop. Why must you always bicker?"

"Because some of us don't know when to shut up."

"Murdoc-san, that's enough. And besides, you realize that you two fight like brothers, right?" Noodle smirked because she knew the reaction she was about to get would be fun to watch.

"Brothers?! Never! I'd sooner feed myself to the zombies."

"But Murdoc..." 2D started sniggering. "I'm pretty sure that's cannibalism since you're already a bit of a zombie yourself."

"Oh, is that so, faceache? You're the one who acts like a zombie. You even walk like one: slow and not entirely there. Ya actually aren't too. Since you're sorta missing your eyeballs and the part of your brain that wasn't stuck to my bumper probably leaked out of your sockets. Oh, and there's the matter of your teeth too."

"I seem to recall all of that being your fault. And it's better to be missing eyes, teeth, and brains than a heart."

"I can add that to the list you know."

"Please don't."

"Thought so."

"Muds, why do you gotta insult or threaten D so much?" Murdoc thought about it for a bit.

* * *

_ Flashback_

_"Why do you always have to be so mean? What'd I ever do to you?" Murdoc finally confronted the guy who made his life in high school so miserable. "You think just because you're so popular you're perfect?"_

_"I don't think, I know. And unlike you, I'm not a freak." He smiled cruelly._

_"At least I'm not an airhead."_

_"At least I'm not scum, like you. Now why don't you get lost, demon boy. Don't make me and my friends here pound you." He cracked his knuckles and approached Murdoc slowly. His three friends followed. Murdoc backed away. He knew how to fight and was pretty good, all the time he's spent living with his father and brother will do that, but he couldn't take on four at once. Not to mention the fact that he was currently behind an abandoned building. He backed into the wall and figured that he might as well try. He threw a punch but it was stopped and before he knew it Murdoc was being beaten to a pulp. After about ten minutes they stopped but before they left they spit on him and the one Murdoc was speaking to before gave him one final kick._

_"Later freak." One of them said. Murdoc was left there, hurting and bleeding. Although this was nothing compared to what his father would do if he was late coming home again._

_End flashback_

* * *

"Well?"

"Huh?"

"I said, why do you always have to-"

"Oh, that. I... have my reasons." Murdoc shrugged. Russel was about to say something, but was cut off when Noodle said she found a movie all of them would enjoy. It was a horror movie, one that was apparently declared the scariest movie of all time and one that would give you nightmares. They all decided to watch it, thinking it was better than arguing.

* * *

**A/N: Here's another chapter. Be sure to tell me what you think. And I wish everyone a merry Christmas and happy New Year!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Alright, chapter 11. Hope you like it.**

* * *

The movie they had watched had definitely freaked the singer out. It wasn't the demon zombies that were in it, but the fact that the main character reminded him a lot of Murdoc. He had one red eye, and over the course of the movie his skin was slowly turning a sickly green due to the curse he was born with. That and the fact that he acted just like him only he was younger. When the movie had ended 2D asked Murdoc about his eye and the bassist responded by hitting him in the head and telling him to mind his own business before grinning and leaving. 2D decided to go to his room since tomorrow was the surprise gig for Noodle. As soon as he stepped inside the door Murdoc silently appeared behind him with his scythe. The bassist pushed the singer down before slamming the blade right next to his head. 2D started screaming while Murdoc laughed. "That'll teach you to mind your own business."

"W-what was that for?" Now that he had realized it was only Murdoc and not someone or something else he managed to shakily get up.

"Oh nothing. I just wanted to give ya a scare was all. You seemed pretty freaked out by that movie which is surprising since you love zombies." The older man was now leaning against the door frame with the scythe propped up on the other side of him.

"Yeah, but those were some kinda freaky demon lookin' zombies who could like, control people. Big difference compared to the ones here."

"Or are they?" Murdoc said ominously before he grabbed his scythe and started walking away. "G'night, faceache. Don't let the zombies bite." 2D shook his head at the creepy tone in his voice. It's not like that would scare him since he's been hearing it for years. He got undressed and climbed into bed.

The next day 2D woke up around noon. "S'pose I should be gettin' up. Wouldn't wanna ruin Noodle's surprise and then get beat up by Murdoc." He grabbed some clean clothes, showered, and went to the kitchen.

"It's about time you woke up, sleepy-head. Murdoc-san says we're going to the park today." Noodle was at the sink washing some dishes while Russel handed him a plate. The bluenette said thanks and smiled at Noodle's naivety. She had no clue about what was really going on. He ate his food within minutes-turns out he was hungrier than he thought-and went into the living room to find Murdoc watching TV.

"Hey Muds. I didn't think you were the outdoorsy type." He chuckled and sat down next to the bassist.

"Hm? Oh. Well y'know. Thought it was a good idea. Spend some 'quality' time together."

"I didn't think she would believe something like that."

"I didn't either. But all it took was a little Murdoc Niccals charm." He smirked, obviously pleased with himself for managing to trick Noodle. Eventually Russel and Noodle joined them and at quarter to four they were loading up the geep with instruments before heading to the 'park'. After a few minutes Noodle realized that they were going in the opposite direction of the park.

"Uh, Murdoc-san? This is the wrong way."

"No it's not, luv."

"Yes it is. The park is back that way." She jerked her thumb behind her.

"Baby girl, what if I told you we weren't going to the park?"

"What do you mean, Russel-san?"

"You're about to find out. Here we are!" 2D could no longer hide his excitement as they neared the building.

"W-what's this?"

"A little surprise, luv. I know ya like charity events, so I scheduled a gig at one. I can't believe you bought that cheesy story about practicing in the park."

"You mean... _you_ did this, Murdoc-san?"

"Sure did." He grinned at her from the front seat as they pulled into a parking spot. "C'mon. Let's get in there before we're mobbed or something." They walked inside and a man on the makeshift stage immediately acknowledged them.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Gorillaz!" The crowd of people erupted into loud cheers and clapping and Murdoc, as usual, was absolutely enjoying it. They went backstage, or what the workers and volunteers called backstage, and set up.

"You ready, luv?" 2D was wearing his signature grin.

"Hai. And Murdoc?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you." She hugged him tightly before grabbing her guitar and going to face the crowd. The bassist allowed a small smile to form on his face before heading over to join her. The others followed and as the curtains raised the crowd began cheering like crazy.

"And we haven't even played anything yet." 2D chuckled at the crowd's enthusiasm. They waited until the noise died down a bit and then began to play 5/4. Next was Clint Eastwood, then Feel Good Inc, and all the other songs they had. It was just like when they played all their songs in the studio except this time Murdoc wasn't scowling. Instead he was being his usual self. The others made sure to give him plenty of room. When they were done playing they were immediately bombarded with fans wanting autographs. They had to sign papers, pictures, shoes, and even people's heads. At some point during the fan rush, Murdoc had disappeared. Russel went to look for him after signing enough autographs to make his hand fall off. He found the bassist out back trying to sweet talk some women.

"Yeeaaahhh. I've been playin' bass for years. I was the one who formed this band. Not bad huh?" They giggled and wrapped their arms around him, obviously stupid enough to fall for the green skinned man's fake charm.

"Hey Murdoc. Sorry to interrupt-actually, no I'm not-but we're gonna head out now."

"Can't you see I'm busy talking to some lovely ladies? Go join a pie eating contest or something, lards." He turned his attention back to the girls while Russel was fuming.

"Let's go." He grabbed him and yanked him away by the back of his shirt.

"Oi! What was that for?"

"We are_ not _bringing any of them with us."

"Why not?"

"Because it's gross, man. I'll never what women see in you and I don't wanna know either."

"You're just jealous." The bassist scoffed. They climbed into the geep where 2D and Noodle were waiting. The drive back to Kong was oddly quiet. Murdoc didn't want to be the one to break the silence but seeing as how no one else would he didn't have a choice. "Sooo..." He stopped, not knowing what else to say.

"Sooo what?" 2D turned his attention to the bassist having gotten bored of just looking at the passing buildings.

"I don't know. I was just tryin' to make conversation. It's too quiet."

"That's very kind of you, Murdoc-san."

"Kind? Nah. Your silence is just makin' me feel like I'm in a car full of dead people."

"Thanks for that image, Murdoc."

"Not a problem, tubby." He snickered as he drove through the gates and back onto their property. When he pulled the keys out he grabbed his bass and hopped out of the geep and was going to his Winnebago when Noodle stopped him.

"Murdoc-san, may I speak to you in private?" Despite his hair, Noodle could still tell he raised an eyebrow. "Please. I'll make it quick."

"Um... okay. I guess so." He allowed her in his Winnebago while Russel and 2D stood there confused.

"I wonder what that's about."

"Don't worry about it, D. I'm sure she just wants to thank him again or something." He walked away leaving the singer by himself. Shrugging, he went to his room. He had come up with a pretty good tune for a new song and wanted to try it out. He'd ask Noodle about her talk later.

* * *

**A/N: Well there ya go. Please review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Since school has started updates will be much ****slower so please bear with me.**

* * *

"Alright Noods. What'd ya wanna talk about?" Murdoc sat down and patted the space next to him. She took a seat and sighed before looking around the 'bago. "Well?"

"Um... I'm not really sure how to say this..."

"C'mon. Out with it."

"Have you... have you changed?" She didn't look at him for fear that she went too far asking him something personal like that. The smallest bit of surprise showed on his face for a brief moment before he lit up a cigarette and took a drag.

"Whaddaya mean by that?"

"You don't seem so... you."

"I don't seem so me? You're confusing me, luv."

"What I mean is that aside from your moodiness you've seemed a bit different. Like the concert. What made you do that?"

"Hm. I don't know. I just thought you deserved a little something. You are the only girl I care about. And don't want to make out with."

"Um, thank you, Murdoc-san." She seemed pretty content with this answer but Murdoc knew she wasn't.

"Noodle I know that's not all you wanted to know."

"Ever since you told us about you having nightmares I've been worried. Especially after the one where 2D killed you."

"Worried about what? You don't really think I'd sit there and let the dullard kill me, do you?" He chuckled at the thought of 2D standing up to him.

"What worries me is that you said you wouldn't stop him. That sounded rather depressing and very suicidal. I'm afraid that you may want to die." Noodle looked up at him but he was staring at the trash on the floor.

"Y'know, I really should clean this place up a bit." He mumbled. Noodle went wide-eyed but Murdoc couldn't see it because of her bangs.

"Murdoc-san!"

"What?" He looked over at her and was met with a concerned face.

"You never answered my question." He stared at her with an expressionless face before smirking slightly.

"No Noods. I've got a world-famous band to lead remember?" He put out his cigarette and stood. "Why don't you get going? Go do... whatever it is you do in your spare time." She got up and both headed to the door.

"Just promise me you won't do anything stupid or regrettable."

"Course not, luv." He grinned and ruffled her hair before she stepped out. The door creaked loudly and nearly fell off.

"You should fix that. Zombies could get into your 'bago."

"Dumb zombies then." As she slowly walked away Murdoc scratched the back of his head. He was thinking about what she said and wondered if he really was becoming a bit suicidal. He had been considering doing some pretty crazy things. After pondering it, he came to the decision that he was just being dramatic about everything. "I sound like freaking faceache." He sat down and grabbed his bass. He didn't play anything specific, he just randomly strummed it while enjoying the deep sound. It helped him get his mind off things. While he played Cortez watched silently from his perch. He, like Murdoc, did enjoy the sound.

While Noodle was walking away from Murdoc's Winnebago she decided to go see 2D. Maybe he'd want to watch a movie or something. As she neared his room she could hear music. Not just any music, but music only the bluenette himself could make. He was playing his keyboard and would occasionally hum along. The song was overall cheery and for Noodle it was over too soon. She lightly knocked on the door. "Come in." She did so and he grinned when he saw her.

"Hello Stu. That was a wonderful song you were just playing." She sat next to him on the bed.

"You think so? I wasn't too sure about it myself." He looked down at his hands.

"It was great." 2D looked up and smiled and Noodle did too. Despite what most people may think 2D wasn't always confident in his musical ability. Usually whenever he came up with a song idea he needed others to approve or compliment it before fully liking it himself.

"You think Muds will like it?"

"Hopefully. Although with how dark he is he may hate it. Maybe we should show Russel-san first. Perhaps he could help us convince Murdoc." She added the last part quickly after she saw his face drop. He nodded and grabbed his keyboard before walking alongside Noodle to the kitchen. Surprisingly, Russel wasn't in there. The duo checked the living room, which was also empty. Finally they came to his room and knocked on the door.

"Hang on." They could hear some stuff being moved around and the heavy footsteps of the drummer before the door opened. "Yeah?"

"2D-san has an idea for a song and would like to play it for you."

"Alright let's hear it."

"You're not gonna let us in?"

"Sorry D. It's a bit of a mess in here. I was workin' on a project."

"Oh well in that case, I'll just play it out here." The singer quickly changed his mind knowing very well what Russel meant by 'project'. He was working on one of his animals. 2D wasn't one to talk about hobbies-just look at all the keyboards and switchblades he had accumulated over the years-but taxidermy just freaked him out.

He sat down on the floor and began playing the song for Russel. When he was done he stood back up. "Well? How'd ya like it?"

"Good. Really good. Did you talk to Muds yet? It is his call."

"Yeah... but we were hoping you'd help us convince him."

"As much as I'd love to hit him, D, I can't. I don't really feel like gettin' in a fight. And besides, the glue should be heated by now."

"What do you need glue for? Actually never mind. See ya Russ." 2D waved as he headed down the hall.

"Thank you Russel-san. Wish us luck."

"Good luck. And if Muds does anything, let me know."

"Hai." Noodle went in the direction 2D went. She quickly caught up with him and together they went to Murdoc's Winnebago. "I was just here too."

"Oh that reminds me. What'd you wanna talk to him about?"

"Oh... I just wanted to thank him again for the concert." Noodle decided it would be best not to discuss the conversation.

"C'mon now Noods. I'm not that dense." He stopped walking and looked down at her.

"Fine. I asked him if he had changed and we had a quick discussion about his moodiness lately and how strange he's been acting."

"Oh okay." He started walking again. The closer they got to the 'bago the louder the deep sound of a bass got. It wasn't coordinated like a song, but it expressed emotion none the less. It sounded a bit melancholy but at the same time it gave off a different vibe. One that made those who heard it feel relaxed and somewhat happy.

"It sounds like he is in a good mood. Maybe this will be easy." Noodle carefully knocked on the door so it wouldn't fall off or anything. The playing stopped before grumbling and footsteps rapidly approached the door.

"What?" Murdoc swung the door open and was wearing nothing but jeans.

"I got a pretty good song idea and I thought ya might wanna hear it."

"Then start playin' faceache. And hurry it up before I decide to slam the door in your face."

"You're suddenly in a bad mood. Is there something wrong Murdoc-san?"

"You know I hate being bothered when I'm playing my bass. Now let's hear this song of yours already." 2D began playing the song for the third time that day, but halfway through Murdoc stopped him. "It isn't bad I guess. But it's a bit too happy. Change it a bit, add some lyrics, and then come talk to me." With that, he shut the door.

"Well that was a bust. I shoulda known that Muds would hate it. I actually figured he would. I just thought it might be a nice change, y'know? Pretty much all our songs are negative or depressing in some way. Or they're just downright weird."

"I suppose so. But there is no reason why you can't at least try to get Murdoc-san to like it."

"I guess you're right. He did give it a fair chance. I'm gonna go work on it right now." 2D headed back into his room leaving Noodle with nothing much to do.

"I am a little hungry. Maybe there's still something edible left in the kitchen."

Murdoc resumed his position on the bed and was about to play his bass some more when his stomach growled. He got back up and began rummaging through cabinets and his fridge but the most he found was a pack of ramen noodles and his hidden stash is vodka. Why it was hidden was a mystery. Most of the time his band mates didn't come inside his Winnebago unless they had to, and when they did they didn't dare go through his stuff for fear that either something would jump out and kill them or they would be cursed. And 'company' was usually too drunk to even stand up straight.

Shrugging, he grabbed a bottle and the noodles before looking for a clean pot. Finding one he filled it with water before setting it on the stove and waiting for it to boil. Ramen wasn't necessarily his favorite food but he liked to eat it anyway. To him it was sort of a comfort food. Although the reason for this wasn't a good one.

* * *

_Flashback_

_Murdoc hadn't eaten a meal in three days. His father was again angry at him for getting third place in the talent show at the local pub. His dad said if he was gonna get third, then that's how many days he would go with no food. Luckily for him, Hannibal was being unusually kind and would sneak him a few scraps here and there. He probably just wanted a favor and was kissing up to Murdoc so he could hold it against him later. "Hey dad? It's been three days. Can I eat now?" His voice was quiet and hoarse from lack of food and very little water._

_"No. And before you ask why, it's just because. Maybe next time you'll get first place huh?" Murdoc's shoulders slumped and he walked away. It wasn't like he didn't try. His father shouldn't have signed him for that one. He knew he was a horrible singer and he hated Pinocchio. Having him sing 'I've Got No Strings' was a bad idea from the start. _

_On his way back to his room he bumped into his brother. "Here. You're lucky dad didn't hear me in the kitchen." He shoved a plastic bowl at Murdoc before taking off. He looked and saw it was ramen noodles. Smiling, he walked into his room and locked the door before slurping up the soup. Whatever his brother wanted he'd gladly do it now._

_End flashback_

* * *

Despite the bad memory, Murdoc had to smile at the fact that all Hannibal wanted was for him to help teepee someone's house. Glancing back at the pot he saw the water boiling. He dropped the chunk of uncooked noodles in and waited a moment before stirring them. Sometimes it was good he kept these things on hand.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry about the wait but with school and all it took me a little while. Next update may or may not come soon. I've having some grade issues and may not have time to type. But do review.**


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